Resistance is Futile: How I Became an iPhone Freak

To bring up my pre-iPhone purchase philosophy on an Apple blog like this may be considered insane. And that’s because I hate iPhones and all the people who use them (which comprises 90% of my friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances).

Having stuck to my guns with a dumb phone since back when dumb phones were cool, I am suspicious of media hype and trends to a fault. And I figured that considering that I had gotten along just fine without one, nay, that I thrived with my caveman un-connected piece of crap technology, I felt it wasn’t for me. All I wanted to do was make phone calls, send text messages to convey important information like meeting times, etc., and maybe, just maybe, download a different ringer to entertain myself and my irate officemates.

But then I lost my phone.

This was the second time in the Year of Our Lord 2011 that I had lost my phone. The first time I lost after a riveting New Year’s Eve, I walked in to my service provider’s store, bent on a getting a replacement (that is, until I found out my phone was no longer being made). After the clerk told me to go browse through all the overpriced phones and pick one that I liked, I passed by their line of smart phones. I considered it, because despite my hatred of smart phones, I do secretly covet them. My covetousness levels outrageously high, I passed the iPhone, paused for a second, and then walked on. I walked out of the store with a fancy dumb phone that cost twice as much as the iPhone. And it made me sad.

Then by some miracle (or perhaps courtesy of my extreme absent-mindedness) I lost my phone again. But I was even sadder for Lost Phone Episode II because my fancy dumb phone was expensive, and I neglected to purchase insurance. Not only that, but I did not even have an interesting lost phone story told after epic nights of revelry that have become more and more common these days. It simply disappeared.

Now it’s at this juncture that I’m already considering an iPhone.

My brain begins turning those wheels, and I begin to rationalize. It could be very useful for work, I think. It would be nice not to get lost so often. And you’d have more friends, friends who hang out at bars and don’t talk to each other. Who would be so crazy to NOT get an iPhone? Well, me. And I am not crazy.

The straw that broke the camel’s back, as it were, was my discovery of the game Words With Friends, a Scrabble knock-off. Having been addicted to Scrabble since I was a child, my interest was piqued. No one plays board Scrabble anymore, and getting a game together is impossible unless you and your party is over 60, and those folks are the worst cheaters anyway, trust me. Indeed, all the Scrabble players from yesteryear have gravitated online, and this cult gathers on their smart phones.

So that was it.

I bought the iPhone and my life has changed.

I never get lost, I have tripled my friend group, (even though we only hang out playing Scrabble), I send hilariously butchered texts thanks to the wonders of auto-correct, and, most importantly, I finally—good God, how long I have waited!—I finally feel cool.

---

Guest post by Pamela Brown Pamela specializes in writing about associates degree. Questions and comments can be sent to: pamelia.brown@gmail.com.
Main image by jeremyplemon